A Curse, with a Blessing
… while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.
The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’
‘An enemy did this,’ he replied.
The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’
No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’ ~ Matthew 13:24–30
Put a person on a deserted island. Leave him there for five years. And in that time, try speaking to him. Then, you realize it’s impossible to speak to him. He has to re-learn your language all over again.
I wish to share with you on what I’ve been pondering the last few days. When talking about BPD, there’s a term called “splitting.” It’s extreme viewpoints: either you’re idealized or demonized. Pure good or pure evil. I hope to not make this Bible blog too long — only to share this single idea. But there have been times I’ve been called ‘compassionate’ — which I always appreciate. Although on my side of things, I don’t see compassion as a job or even volunteering. I view it as a given. I view it as “natural” common sense. (Is that even a phrase? Lol)
To see someone suffer makes it impossible for me to turn away. If I choose avoidance or even willful ignorance, I see myself as a monster. Worse than Satan himself. How can I turn away? From my humble perspective, the journey of becoming a spiritual leader in-fact uses the advantage of black and white thinking — or also called “splitting.” Part of a spiritual leader isn’t only how to help, but to also act quickly and decisively. No need to think. Get the job done in that moment. Similar to work at a factory… You don’t need to think. You know what needs to be done, and you do such.
Getting back to the talk about BPD, it’s definitely a curse. No one with BPD would want it. But deep inside the heart, there’s also a blessing. Authenticity. Sincerity. Something that we all desire. And I suppose it goes without to say for all of us that deep within our curses of this life — disability, trauma, sin, regret— there’s a God-given blessing. Ability among disability. Redemption among sin. A rose planted in thorns. A savior among sinners.
It’s difficult for us to communicate these truths. It requires a wanting, a desire, a patience, and a lesson learned. Whatever disability you may have, let us learn the language of one another. We are all special in God’s eyes. We all have our own blessings amidst the curse. So let’s tell the world…
God bless.
